Today I Fucked Up by losing the love of my life. What do you do when you lose someone so close to you because of your own stupidity. I dont know how to cope with this and I dont want to talk to anyone about it, but this is the only way to get this off of my chest so it doesnt hurt as bad.
I fucked up. And i guess somethings just cant be fixed. No matter how hard you want to fix it. I dont know where to turn. I just want to lay in this bed and never leave because theres no point on leaving. Theres nothing out there for me anymore. Yeah, theres video games and music, but that only temporary enjoyment. It doesnt warm my heart like she does. And I lost that all. I really hope one day I will be back with her. Some of you will tell me to move on. But why? really, why? I know she doesnt want me, but that doesnt change how I feel. Im at the lowest ive ever been in a long while. And i know the saying is “you can only go up from here” well, that might be bullshit right now, because things keep getting worse. And what would bring me back up anyways? theres nothing. nothing. The only thing i can think of is music. and that just helps a little bit at a time. So whats the point. Whats the point of anything. I lost everything. Is it better to love and get hurt or to never love at all? I know i will never love again. I wont. Because I will always love her.